Stand Sure In Life
Enforced Change Can Mean A Fresh Start
When you are forced into a situation it can be daunting. In this blog I use a recent experience to show how enforced change isn’t always a bad thing.
A Perfect Place To Live
A former piano student of mine told me during a lesson that they were in the process of redecorating her partner’s house but weren’t sure what to do with it. I asked if they’d considered renting and got told that they hadn’t. I didn’t think anything more of it until one lesson I was asked if I’d like to go and look at the property with a view to renting it. The truth was that I was looking to move from where I lived so I took it as an opportunity to possibly do that. I went to look around and its location, although in the middle of nowhere, was perfect!
Set on the edge of an area of outstanding natural beauty, I moved house in 2019. When the global pandemic hit in 2020, I was so grateful to be living where I was. I had plenty of countryside right on my doorstep. No need to get in the car. Being able to go out for a walk on a daily basis and explore new areas was fantastic. If I had still been living in my previous town, I’m not sure it would have been as “easy”. However, some sad news was about to upset the apple cart in a major way.
The End Of Tenancy
My friend called me up and told me her partner had passed away. Although it had been expected it was sad. The house had been left to his daughter, who wanted to sell it but I was reassured that I had between six and 18 months before anything would happen. However, just before Christmas I was told I’d be given notice to vacate by the end of March. The dream of living in that house forever evaporated very quickly as there is no way on Earth I would be able to afford to buy the house given that since the pandemic I’ve lost 80% of my clients.
My friend was very sorry that I had to move but to be honest I was more concerned about how she was going to cope. It turns out I was “worrying” about her for no reason. She has a lot of friends and support and now she isn’t acting as a carer for her partner, she has found a new lease of life. Of course there’s a hole where the partner used to be, but she was able to give him the best possible life full of love and adventure. She’s now able to have that adventure in her own way. I needed to find somewhere else to live so I started searching for suitable property.
As a person who lives on the Autistic Spectrum, I don’t find change easy. It gets very confusing because the Autist in me hates change and resists, the Life Coach side of me looks for opportunities in change. I didn’t want to leave where I was though not because of the Autism, but because I loved living here. I love having nature on my doorstep, I get on well with my neighbours, and even though I struggle socially I’ve managed to make some acquaintances. But it was not all sunny!
The house needs quite a bit doing to it (new windows, new front door, weatherproofing the garage, updating the kitchen) so I know that if I’d been able to buy the house I’d be spending even more money getting all that sorted. In addition to that though, and more importantly, my business was struggling to take off again after the pandemic. Searching for property to stay in the area it soon became very clear that this was not going to be practical as to get the kind of property I needed was going to be be way out of budget…I started to think about other options.
A Fresh Start
I’ve lived in the same county for over thirty years. Whilst it’s mostly been enjoyable there have been some pretty major setbacks over that time. A few of the setbacks are caused by people who I’ve unfortunately fallen out with, and in turn some have behaved in a particularly vindictive manner. Of course this is upsetting and has had some impact on what I want to do but it wasn’t until a conversation with my mum that things took a surprising turn…and a turn that when I think about it is what I should have been considering in the first place.
“If you’re looking within 40 miles of where you are now, why don’t you try 40 miles of where we are?” It suddenly all made sense. I don’t really have much keeping me where I am at the moment. Sure I have a handful of friends and clients, but not enough to keep me in the area especially with clients as they’re all online anyway. Looking for property within 40 miles of mum and dad things started to slot into place. Yes I am scared about relocating - but I’m super-excited about the prospect of a fresh start.
I’m a great believer in the idea that we can find opportunities in life anywhere we look if we have the right attitude. However, moving to an entirely new location will present me with so many opportunities that I no longer have here. I can regenerate my businesses, get new clients, and make new friends. No one will know me so there shouldn’t be any judgements based on other’s opinions. I’ll be nearer mum and dad which means we won’t need to drive for several hours to see each other.
I will be very sad to leave here don’t get me wrong. But, I’m looking forward to a fresh start, a clean slate, a new home (which I can hopefully stay in for a decent length of time but renting is so uncertain), and a whole host of new opportunities. When I first got told my time where I am was coming to an end I had massive panic attacks. But now, apart from the stress of packing everything up (oh and finding a new home) I’m looking forward to the next chapter or chapters in my life.