In a previous blog I talked about what Life Coaching actually is. In this blog I want to go a bit deeper and address something of the things you may not know about Life Coaching. Life Coaching covers a huge range of topics and many coaches specialise in one or two areas. That doesn’t mean they can’t do other stuff, of course they can. However, they’ve chosen a niche market to focus on. Mine are Mental Health, Mindfulness, and The Law Of Attraction. I hope this blog will show you how Coaching can help you…and indeed how I can help you.
1. They Don’t Tell You What To Think
The main basis of any form of Life Coaching is in asking questions. Strong, open ended questions that illicit thinking on the part of the client. A Coach is not there to judge you or to tell you what to do. However, a Coach will make suggestions on possible ways forward based on the answers that you give. The will use active listening skills so they know the situation and what they can offer to help you. Very often, during a coaching session the client will say something about an ongoing issue. By asking the right questions to encourage a different way of thinking, very often the client has come up with a solution themselves. The Coach will then utilise this information to come up with an action plan to help the client move forward. It’s more about “telling” the client HOW to think rather than WHAT to think.
2. Coaching Is About Moving Forward
The biggest difference between therapy/counselling and Coaching is that Coaching helps you to move forward. We acknowledge the past and its impact, of course we do, but the power of coaching is giving the client the strength to live for the now, rather than the then. By finding out where the client wants to be, the Coach can then help the client take the first steps and ultimately to its conclusion. A Coach should never belittle the clients feelings about a past event (I certainly don’t). What I do however, is help the client find a way of letting go and moving forward. This can sometimes be quite difficult for the client, especially if it’s a bereavement. I totally understand this having been in a situation like that myself. But together we can work towards this and move into brighter days.
3. A Coach Will Encourage You To Challenge Yourself
I try to encourage all my clients to perform to the best of their ability. This is either through helping them conquer their mental health demons, or helping them live in the moment or even find the life of their dreams. I believe in positive reenforcement which means that I will make them aware of the positives they’ve achieved and focus on them, rather than emphasise where they fell short. Of course, we all need “areas to improve on” and sometimes I’ll challenge a client to push themselves. But it’s all down to the individual and their character. Some thrive on “military talk”, others on “cotton wool comfort”. I try to strike a happy medium between the two. I absolutely love sharing the elation and joy with a client who succeeds. By the same token I absolutely love standing by a client and helping them find their way when they’re struggling.
4. A Coach Is A Professional Friend
Due to the nature of Life Coaching it is only natural that a deep connection is formed. There is a mutual trust. The client trusts the Coach to give the best possible service. The Coach trusts the client to give honest information upon which they base their ideas. The client trusts the Coach to behave with confidentiality. The Coach trusts the client to act upon the plans they’ve agreed on. Sometimes, it is necessary to give a client “tough love”. This doesn’t happen straight away of course. The Coach will (should) always be honest but tactful. [Tony Robbins], who regular readers will know is an inspiration to me, is very direct with his language - straight away. He uses humour to put a person at ease. But he’s very quick to know what’s going to work and what isn’t. In his seminars people fill in forms giving information and answering questions. He, and his team, go through all these with a fine tooth comb. They can eliminate the people who just want “to show off” and focus on those that need the actual help. By being direct with the language (often bad) the client is taken by surprise and then is ready to focus on what Tony says. In the short time you’re “with” him, he makes you feel like he’s your best friend.
5. A Life Coach Can Be A Life Long Investment
If you’re prepared to pay for it, a Life Coach can be with you for life. Everyone’s lives change with regular monotony. A Life Coach can help you navigate your way through all these changes. Just because you achieve one goal, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have another one. If you conquer one mental issue then you can use your new found strength to move forward with your friendly Life Coach at the helm. If you’re willing to invest in yourself, you could enjoy a life of empowerment. Price is only an issue when there is no value. Of course, some clients just want or need help with one thing. That is absolutely fine. Others want the continued support. It’s up to the client but of course some Coaches will do the hard-sell. But personally I like to remain authentic to who I am. I will never lie to a client and if I genuinely feel that they’d be better off elsewhere, I’ll tell them. In the same way if I feel that I can no longer serve them fully I’ll tell them. But, if I feel that a client needs continued support I’ll let them know and if necessary make negotiations.