Perspective Isn't Just For Artists!
Happy New Year! In the past those words would send a chill down my spine. Happy? I'm not happy though. New Year...yeah, sure, but same old s***! We are going back several years but after a lot of hard work my perspective has changed...for the better and yours can too!
Here are some simple things you can do that will help you start to change your perspective. Please note the list is not exhaustive and this is just a very small sample. If you were to partake of some one on one coaching the ideas would be tailored to you personally! All these are things I've been guilty of but have continued to work to improve upon....
1. Accentuate The Positive – Say you're out for a meal and everything about it is lovely. The company is great, the food is tasty and the drink is very quaffable. However, there is one thing about the occasion that is not to your liking. Don't focus on that one little thing that's not quite right. Focus on the things that are right. Don't make a big deal of it. Don't even mention it...especially if you're given to making criticisms a lot of the time. Every event can have a positive spin on it but there are times you need to look! One thing I like to do is every day I get a colourful, small piece of paper (I use an origami pad and cut the sheets in quarters - that lasts me a year) and I write something that has made me happy, or something positive. I fold it up and pop it in a nicely decorated jar. Then as the year goes on I can see lots of lovely coloured paper in the jar. If I have a bad day I simply open the jar and take a slip out and read what is on it. This serves as a reminder that there is ALWAYS something good even if you've just had some really bad news or a tragic event. That's not to diminish the bad news or tragedy but it is to emphasise that it's those times you must look deep for the good.
2. Don't Be Overly Critical – Just because something isn't to your liking doesn't mean that it's bad! Everyone has different tastes, styles, methods, looks etc. and if it isn't your bag that's fine...just don't make everything that comes out of your mouth a criticism about someone or something. Sometimes staying quiet can be the best thing you can do...especially if you're in a minority! Yes of course you are entitled to your opinion and yes of course you are entitled to voice your opinion, however, there is always a time and a place and a party or celebration, dinner or social occasion isn't really the best time to say “That music is terrible” or “What the heck are they wearing?”
3. Compassion And Tolerance – You never know what another person is going through – so just be nice! Yes there are going to be people who rub you up the wrong way and yes it can be very hard work if you feel that you're banging your head against a brick wall with them. But try understanding. Rather than biting their head off every time try and stay calm. Try and find out what they're trying to say. Try positive reinforcement – rather than criticising them and shouting at them all the time, try stating something positive that they've done. Then try and explain what you want calmly. We all get emotional and tired and snappy but when it becomes a regular thing that's when you perhaps need to start thinking differently. I find that taking a breath can help...but we all fall short on this one – we are human!
4. Laugh A Lot – Laughter really is the medicine. Don't hold back from it! Laugh at silly things...the sillier the better. As we get older we tend to become more and more serious and find silly things unfunny. Get back in touch with your inner child and let them play. Let them laugh. If you don't find something funny...don't watch it and then look back at suggestion number 2!
One final little thing is something I saw years ago but it resonated strongly.
Before you speak THINK