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Ten Ways To Stop Being A People Pleaser

It is likely the at some time or another you’ve found yourself wanting to please someone else, over and above your own needs. This is perfectly acceptable ad normal. However, of you find yourself constantly doing this, it may be time to break free from the people-pleasing cycle. Here are ten strategies to help you stop being a people pleaser:



Understand Your Motivations: Take the time to reflect on why you engage in people-pleasing behaviour. It could be driven by a fear of rejection, a desire for validation and approval, or a belief that your worth depends on pleasing others. By understanding the underlying motivations, you can begin to address them and make positive changes.



Develop Self-Awareness: Pay attention to your own emotions, desires, and boundaries. Practice self-reflection to identify your own needs and priorities. This means taking the time to check in with yourself and ask, "What do I want or need in this situation?" By becoming more self-aware, you can start making conscious choices about when and how to assert yourself.



Learn To say "No": One of the most crucial steps in stopping people-pleasing is learning to say "no." It can be challenging at first, but it's essential to set boundaries and prioritise your own well-being. Remember that saying "no" doesn't make you selfish or mean; it simply means you're honouring your own needs and limitations.



Prioritise Self-Care: Make self-care a priority in your life. Engage in activities that nurture and replenish you, whether it's practicing hobbies, taking time for relaxation, getting enough sleep, or pursuing personal interests. Prioritising self-care sends a message to yourself and others that your well-being matters.



Practice Assertiveness: Assertiveness is the ability to express your thoughts, feelings, and opinions in a respectful and direct manner. Practice assertive communication by clearly expressing your boundaries, expectations, and preferences. Use "I" statements to express how you feel and what you need, while also being open to listening to others. Remember, assertiveness is about finding a balance between being respectful to others and honoring your own needs.



Embrace Discomfort: Breaking free from people-pleasing habits can be uncomfortable, especially if you have been accustomed to prioritising others over yourself. Embrace the discomfort as a sign of personal growth. It's natural to feel uneasy when asserting yourself or setting boundaries, but remind yourself that it's a necessary step towards living a more authentic and fulfilling life.



Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can provide guidance and support. Share your journey with someone you trust and seek their understanding and encouragement. Surrounding yourself with people who respect and value your autonomy will reinforce your efforts to break free from people-pleasing.



Challenge Negative Beliefs: People-pleasing often stems from negative beliefs about self-worth and acceptance. Challenge these beliefs by practicing self-compassion and acknowledging your inherent value, regardless of others' opinions. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations and remind yourself that you are deserving of respect and fulfillment.



Practice Self-Validation: Instead of relying solely on external validation, learn to validate yourself. Recognise your own accomplishments, strengths, and worth. Celebrate your successes and acknowledge your progress. Cultivating self-confidence and self-assurance will reduce the need for constant approval from others.



Celebrate Progress: Breaking free from people-pleasing is a journey, and every step forward is worth celebrating. Recognise and acknowledge your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Celebrating your progress will help reinforce the positive changes you're making and encourage you to continue prioritising your own needs and well-being.


Remember, it takes time and practice to break free from people-pleasing habits. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way. Embracing your own needs and priorities will ultimately lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life.


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