What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do!
I am a great believer in the setting of goals or targets (as I life coach it kinda goes with the territory). I believe that this helps give your life a sense of purpose or at the very least something to aim for. The trouble is though that there are many people out there who don’t set goals or targets. They don’t have an action plan for their life. They just go through each day doing the same routine and end up feeling unfulfilled. On the surface they may well be happy with that but deep down they likely aren’t. They perhaps go through life feeling that something is missing but the don’t know what. Then someone asks “What’s your biggest goal?” They don’t know the answer. If they do know the answer the follow up question is “What are you doing to reach this goal?” More often than not the answer is “I don’t know what to do.”
Identify Something You Want To Achieve Or Obtain
The first step is to identify a goal but many people fall at this first step. Why? There are many reasons. It could be that the person is happy with the way things are. They’re in a safe routine and adding to that is unnecessary for them. Another reason is that they have so much to do already they worry that adding something to the mix will overload them. My personal belief is that most people don’t set a goal because they think it needs to be something massive. They believe that if they are setting a goal they are assuming it needs to be a big target. For example, losing weight, finding a new job, finding a new partner, decorating the house. The truth is though, while it’s fantastic to have these big goals and dreams - they don’t have to be that size. In fact if anyone tells you otherwise they are likely just saying it to make you feel bad. Don’t listen to them! Walk away!
Start small. A goal is a personal target so it doesn’t matter a) what others think or b) what the size of the goal is. Maybe you used to read a lot but haven’t read a book in a long time. So perhaps make it a goal to start reading again. Now, that may be an overwhelming thought - you need to choose the book but don’t know where to start…so you put it off. If that’s the case then start even smaller. Find a magazine on a subject you’re interested in and start reading that. Set yourself a goal of say five pages a day. If finding a magazine is too overwhelming then go onto the Internet and do a search on a subject you’re interested in. Click on the first article and read that. If THAT is too overwhelming then choose a different goal to start with. Abraham Hicks (an amazing motivational speaker) says:
“Procrastination is the wisdom not to force anything you’re not vibrationally ready for.”
A Non-Physical Exercise
Try this as an exercise, right now. List at least five things you want to do or achieve. It doesn’t matter how big or small they are. It doesn’t matter if you think a goal is silly. Just do it. Let the thoughts come quick and fast and write them down. Write down anything that comes to mind. Don’t think about the order. (I want to bake a cake for George. I need to cut the grass. I would like to see a kingfisher….) Don’t necessarily think about things you feel you *should* be doing…but that’s a good goal is it not? Take five to ten minutes to do this. Done that? Good! Now put that list in some sort of order. Prioritise the items. How your prioritise them is not important. It could be things you really want to do first, or things you really need to do first. Putting your list in order of importance is important because it makes you actually think about what it is you want to do. Writing a list really quickly you’re not thinking in depth.
You’ve now got your list of five goals in order so let’s look at the first goal. It’s all well and good having the goal, but without action it’s just a dream. (Dreams are great but if you actually want to achieve your dreams you need to do something about it!) What’s the first step? A timeline (AKA a plan) Ideally the timeline will have the start time (now is always good) and an end time. The end time with certain goals can be flexible especially if it’s “I want to see a kingfisher”. Without a plan there is a strong chance the goal will not succeed [well]. You wouldn’t build a house (or flatpack wardrobe) without a plan, so it’s not wise to try and achieve your goal without a plan. Some goals will need a lot of planning, others not so much. You want to bake a cake for George. What’s the first step of the plan? Is it for a special occasion? What kind of cake does he like? Do you have a recipe already or do you want to research something new? How long is it going to take to do the cake? Are you going to decorate it? etc.
Still Don’t Know What To Do?
If you find yourself still struggling don’t panic - you’re not alone! Hopefully the above words will help you at least identify what you want to do. But if not, just whittle things down until you find a manageable goal. Remember a goal can be as big or small as you like and it’s not about becoming an automaton! You don’t want to be writing yourself a timetable as if you’re back at school…BUT there is no harm in doing something similar as it can really help! It’s not about where you were or where you are, but where you want to get. If you don’t know where you want to get maybe think about what you’d like to be doing in say five or ten years time? Then you can start thinking about what you need to do to get there. Be methodical, be thorough, make a plan. If you’re one of those who doesn’t have any goals ask yourself if you’re truly happy with your life and its direction. If the answer is yes - excellent! If not, then think about what would make you happy and make that your goal.
One of the (many) things I’m able to offer my clients is Life Coaching to help them find their goals. We work together to find out what they want to achieve. We then work together to come up with a plan of action. It’s not a quick fix by any stretch of the imagination and there’s absolutely no shame in asking for the help. We take a methodical approach and aim to constantly move forward (even when there’s a set back). We all deserve to live the best possible life. It is one of my goals to help as many people do this. If you don’t know what to do…book some Life Coaching today by dropping us a message!