Stand Sure In Life
Feeling Like A Fraud
As a Life Coach I sometimes feel that I should be superhuman. I feel that as I’m able to coach others I should be able to coach myself. I feel that I should have a grasp and be able to follow all my own guidance. I feel that I should’t let life get on top of me. In this blog I discuss how these feelings manifest themselves and why I am actually even more qualified to help people.
Living With Mental Health
From a very young age I have lived with mental health issues. When I was a toddler I would have a meltdown in the supermarket and bash my head on the concrete floor. When I was in my teens, depression became a thing that was added to the mix. It wasn’t just depression though my mood would range from elated to downright despondent. The thing is though that when I was younger tests for autism weren’t conducted, unless it was severe, or someone noticed the signs. Tests for bipolar weren’t given unless someone in “authority” noticed. I was just branded as “awkward”, “sensitive”, “moody”, “lazy”, and so on.
As I’ve grown older I’ve taken a lot of time to research all these issues and this has given me ammunition and coping mechanisms. As a single person I’ve kind of had to make note of the telltale signs as I’ve had no one around me on a regular basis to keep an eye out. I remember one time I went to a mental health practitioner and they asked me all sorts of questions. They concluded that because I knew what was happening that I wasn’t mentally ill. They seemed to forget the important thing that as a person who lives on their own I have observed my behaviour when I was having “an episode”. I have been able to detect the feelings and signs that one is approaching. This in turn has made me able to put things in place to ensure my safety.
From a very young age I have always tried to help other people. This happens either by listening to them, offering to help them, being a shoulder to cry on, and so on. When I did my Life Coaching courses a part of me expected that all my issues would suddenly and magically disappear. Of course this was not the case, and I’m glad it wasn’t! However, I do go through phases where I feel I should be able to live by example. I feel that because I’m a qualified Life Coach, I should not have any issues of my own. I shouldn’t talk about my issues. I should present a solid, stable, secure, personable front. Feeling unable to do that has meant that I haven’t been pursuing this business fully and I’ve been holding myself back.
I have come to realise that this is actually quite erroneous of me to do. By living with the issues I have, I am in a position where I can empathise with someone fully. I am able to have some understanding of what they are going through. As a Life Coach, I don’t see my job of healing people (that’s for the Reiki aspect of the business) however, I do see it as my job to give people the tools to heal (help) themselves. Asking the right questions, helping them find a workable plan so they can move forward. We all have things in our lives that we wish didn’t happen but we can’t change the past - and nor should we. Everything that happens can be a lesson and that lesson can help us grow if we let it.
I Am Not A Fraud
I haven’t lied on my CV. I haven’t claimed to be something I am not. I have tried to be the most authentic version of myself possible. I am open and honest about my Mental Health Issues and whilst I appreciate it is not ideal to have them - I do have them and they are a part of who I am. It is my hope that by being a fairly open book people can see this and say “Oh my goodness, he’s gone through what I’m going through. Maybe he can help?” I won’t lie to further my career (I’m not a politician), and those that find my honesty a little uncomfortable probably have issues themselves that they aren’t ready to face and work on. Those that don’t like my approach need to find someone who has one they do like (unless they believe that they already have the perfect life).
I am not trying to get everyone to like me - that would be impossible (and silly). What I am trying to do is make myself approachable so that someone can come to me needing guidance. I am trying to demonstrate that I’m a worthwhile investment of time and money to help you get to where you want to be. I am gradually getting more confident in my ability to help people and yes, I am starting to follow my own “advice”. We are all human, none of us perfect. We all have issues, none of us is a superhero (but name me one superhero who doesn’t have issues!). Even the great Tony Robbins, had issues and talked about what he did to get to where he is now. I know that if I can keep building up my confidence and belief in myself, I too can do amazing things…and so can you!